i went to see Jimmy Carr last night as opposed to the usual Wednesday night piss up at Score. and i sent Beky (who by the way was supposed to b at Jimmy Carr with me Andy n Sean but had some netball gayness to attend to) a text sayin and i quote...
"Dude you should have come its immense dont forget to get drunk and profess my love for Sam lol x"
Unfortunatly not thinking what time it was and who i was sending to i failed to realise that Beky was already wasted and with Sam at the time. she promptly turned round showed him the text then walked off. now this really is hilarious and i admit i probably would have done the same. but still i can feel the embarressment its painful dude. seriosuly painful. but Sam is such a dude so lovely and funny lol which i admit i have always said whether i fancied him or no. all i can think is it s gonna be funny and awkward next time i see him
so thank u beky, for the entertainment and the embarressment.
by the by. im not mad at beky at all just a touch shell shocked lol.
EmLah at 1:59 pm
in one of those moods...
not overly sure how my logical intelligence is so low when i got all the logic questions right....
EmLah at 2:14 pm
have you seen the LL webcams?!?!? its fuckin puking. all the pictures show yummy powder. theres someone else working in starbucks now. its all beginning again. i wanna be there so badly.
EmLah at 8:11 pm
....Seems i got Ben a bit wrong. we broke up i wont go into details but lets just say he hates me a lot for no reason. he seemed to think that i didnt fancy him and fancied everyone else. and im a liar, a two faced bitch and a slut. u heard it here first folks i emily ruth holmden am a slut of the highest nobility because i asked a guy for a lighter and i have many male friends...
thank you and goodnight
EmLah at 7:27 pm
EmLah at 5:25 pm
im silly is the main answer to this.
also i appear to have doen soemthing very strange to my shoulder. its just weird man like totally weeeeird. but hey since monday was the aniversary of knackering my hand...muscles not back yet folks;) i suppose if there hadnt been something motively wrong with me i would have gone out and done something to myself.
went to see importance of being earnest on weds at the Cardiff Millenium Centre, easily one of the most beautiful buildings i have ever seen. it was just 2 guys playing all the parts using brechtian methods of "the costume declares the character" as opposed to the actor declares the charater. love it it was immense!!!! then afterwards we went to downtown Cardiff lol (we being Emma, Cath, Bonnie and myself) to meet Ben and his friends and Emmas 2 friends, well after wandering around and around what felt liek the entire millenium stadium we ended up in the right place. it was a really good night, i managed to balance being ther with ben like properly with ben and out with my girls, felt bad to start with that he didnt know anyone as his friends had left before we met him, but as alcohol flows so does conversation, especially when someone uve only just met eats a cigarette, a lit cigarette. i reckon strange things come with the name Matt dont u think Matty?? :)
more pictures as and when :)
EmLah at 10:49 am
yeahh monologue!!! this is it, the one i have to learn for mels directing piece. all 800 and something words of it. GAY.
Mrs Arbuthnot:
I do not know it. I do not feel it, nor will I ever stand before God’s altar and ask God’s blessing on so hideous a mockery as a marriage between me and George Harford. I will not say the words the church bids us to say. I will not say them. I dare not. How could I swear to love the man I loathe, to honour him who wrought you dishonour, to obey him who, in his mastery, made me to sin?
No; marriage is a sacrament for those who love each other. It is not for such as him, or such as me. Gerald, to save you from the world’s sneers and taunts I have lied to the world. For twenty years I have lied to the world. I could not tell the world the truth. Who can, ever? But not for my own sake will I lie to God, and in God’s presence. No, Gerald, no ceremony, church-hallowed or state-made, shall ever bind me to George Harford. It may be that I am bound to him already, who, robbing me, yet left me richer, so that in the mire of my life I found the pearl or price, or what I thought would be so.
Men don’t understand what mothers are. I am no different from any other woman except in the wrong done me and the wrong I did, and my very heavy punishments and great disgrace. And yet, to bear you I had to look on death. To nurture you I had to wrestle with it. Death fought with me for you. All women have to fight with death to keep their children. Death, being childless, wants our children from us. Gerald, when you were naked I clothed you, when you were hungry I gave you food. Night and day all that long winter I tended you. No office is too mean, no care too lowly for the thing we women love – and oh! How I loved you. Not Hannah, Samuel more. And you needed love, for you were weakly, and only love could have kept you alive. Only love can keep anyone alive. And boys are careless often, and without thinking give pain, and we always fancy that when they come to a man’s estate and know us better they will repay us. But it is not so. The world draws them from our side, and they make friends with whom they are happier with than with us, and have amusments from which we are barred, and interests that are not ours; and they are unjust to us often, for when they find life is bitter they blame us for it, and when they find it sweet we do not taste its sweetness with them… you made many friends and went into their houses and were glad with them, and I, knowing my secret, did not dare to follow but stayed at home and closed the door, shut out the sun and sat in darkness. What should I have done in honest households? My past was ever with me… and you thought I didn’t care for the pleasant things in life. I tell you I longed for them, but did not dare to touch them, feeling I had no right. You thought I was happier working amongst the poor. That was my mission, you imagined. It was not, but where else was I to go? The sick do not ask if the hand that smooths their pillow is pure, nor the dying care if the lips that touch their brow have known the kiss of sin. It was you I thought of all the time; I gave to them the love you did not need; lavished on them a love that was not theirs… and you thought I spent too much time in going to church, and church duties. But where else could I turn? God’s house is the only house where sinners are made welcome, and you were always in my heart, Gerald, too much in my heart. For, thought day after day, at morn or evensong, I have knelt in God’s house, I have never repented of my sin. How could I repent of my sin when you, my love, were its fruit. Even now that you are bitter to me I cannot repent. I do not. You are more to me than innocence. I would rather be your mother than – oh! Much rather! – than have been always pure… oh, don’t you see? Don’t you understand? It is my dishonour that has made you so dear to me. It is my disgrace that has bound you so closely to me. It is the price I paid for you – the price of soul and body – that makes me love you as I do. Oh don’t ask me to do this horrible thing. Child of my shame, be still the child of my shame!
EmLah at 4:38 pm
I wish I could give you a hug, but I don't want to
get too close! You poor dear, always in the
wrong situations, the wrong place, the wrong
time....
But, at least you are adorable...and you bring a
lot of laughter into the world! You just need
to be able to laugh at yourself as well.
We love you, from a distance!
You are Startled by Dicksee. Do not give me
that look, it is the painting title!
Which Pre~Raphaelite Painting Are You?
brought to you by
EmLah at 4:37 pm
Some Great Answers to That Stupid Question:"Why aren't you married yet?"
You haven't asked yet.
I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.
What? And spoil my great sex life?
Because I just love hearing this question.
Just lucky, I guess.
My fiance is awaiting his/her parole.
I'm waiting until I get to be your age.
It didn't seem worth a blood test.
I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.
I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.
They just opened a great singles bar on my block.
What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads?
We really want to, but my lover's spouse just won't go for it.
I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.
Why aren't you thin?
I'm married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.
(For Single Mothers) Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.
EmLah at 8:05 pm
Ive turned into one of those people that doesnt post again.! mind you i have actually been quite busy tryin to get work done. plus mel wants me to do her monologue so i have to learn that. and i have to sort my own out, write more about my script, which somehow my teacher is managin to make me hate!
i got very very wasted on halloween, mainly cos i started a bit of an argument between beky n pippa and when they wouldnt talk to eachother i basically decided to just get trashed. i dont remeber anythin after about 11pm me n ben had this huge in depth relationship discussion. but i still dont know if i want that with him or not. plus i then heard rumours via photoandy talkin to beky and sayin hed seen ben with some other bird these last few weeks. so i dunno. i reckon i shall just abstain from man issues.
its hard to think that a year ago i was just startin out in canada, forgeing friendships and startin my job. for fucksake i was seein paul hehe weird. its very sucky that iv only seen rachel CB sinc e weve been back id love to see dave or paul. oh speakin of that i have seen someone else, elise came by on her travels and stayed over last weds was a total blast i cant wait til Aussie land next year. itll only b 3 weeks but itll b bloody good.
\im gonna try n update more. if only to moan about stuff as i shouldnt burden everyone with my problems the whole time :)
EmLah at 9:52 pm
"Dude you should have come its immense dont forget to get drunk and profess my love for Sam lol x"
Unfortunatly not thinking what time it was and who i was sending to i failed to realise that Beky was already wasted and with Sam at the time. she promptly turned round showed him the text then walked off. now this really is hilarious and i admit i probably would have done the same. but still i can feel the embarressment its painful dude. seriosuly painful. but Sam is such a dude so lovely and funny lol which i admit i have always said whether i fancied him or no. all i can think is it s gonna be funny and awkward next time i see him
so thank u beky, for the entertainment and the embarressment.
by the by. im not mad at beky at all just a touch shell shocked lol.
EmLah at 1:59 pm
in one of those moods...| Your Birthdate: November 2 |
 You're so intuitive, it's like you have a sixth, seventh, and eighth sense. You connect with others freely and easily - and you tend to have many best friends. Warm and caring, it's hard for you to close your heart to anyone. Affection is like air for you - you need to give and receive it to survive. Your strength: Your universal compassion Your weakness: Your unpredictable mood swings Your power color: Mauve Your power symbol: Butterfly Your power month: February |
| Your Element is Earth |
 Your power color: yellow Your energy: balancing Your season: changing of seasons Dedicated and responsible, you are a rock to your friends. You are skilled at working out even the most difficult problems. Low key and calm, you are happiest when you are around loved ones. Ambitious and goal oriented, you have long term plans to be successful. |
| Your IQ Is 115 |
 Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Above Average Your General Knowledge is Above Average |
not overly sure how my logical intelligence is so low when i got all the logic questions right....
EmLah at 2:14 pm
have you seen the LL webcams?!?!? its fuckin puking. all the pictures show yummy powder. theres someone else working in starbucks now. its all beginning again. i wanna be there so badly.
EmLah at 8:11 pm
....Seems i got Ben a bit wrong. we broke up i wont go into details but lets just say he hates me a lot for no reason. he seemed to think that i didnt fancy him and fancied everyone else. and im a liar, a two faced bitch and a slut. u heard it here first folks i emily ruth holmden am a slut of the highest nobility because i asked a guy for a lighter and i have many male friends...thank you and goodnight
EmLah at 7:27 pm
in tribute to my ladies at uni. pip n bec i love u thank u for being there for me.
EmLah at 5:25 pm
I suppose i should really have updated this like after my birhtday. mainly cos i got wasted/had an amazing time! lol ah well damage done. so the world of me eh? well after halloween and my birthday me n ben are pretty much now very much an item. which is good :) i also realise that i have been leaving a lot out of here just because of the people who could be reading this. and i hate that iv been censoring this towards the people that read it, and those i know dont read it i havnt cared about, and it was definatly easier in LL when i knew i was the only one from there that read this, well and my friends from home. here most people read it lol so i have to be a bit more sensitive which in some areas i have failed to do.
im silly is the main answer to this.
also i appear to have doen soemthing very strange to my shoulder. its just weird man like totally weeeeird. but hey since monday was the aniversary of knackering my hand...muscles not back yet folks;) i suppose if there hadnt been something motively wrong with me i would have gone out and done something to myself.
went to see importance of being earnest on weds at the Cardiff Millenium Centre, easily one of the most beautiful buildings i have ever seen. it was just 2 guys playing all the parts using brechtian methods of "the costume declares the character" as opposed to the actor declares the charater. love it it was immense!!!! then afterwards we went to downtown Cardiff lol (we being Emma, Cath, Bonnie and myself) to meet Ben and his friends and Emmas 2 friends, well after wandering around and around what felt liek the entire millenium stadium we ended up in the right place. it was a really good night, i managed to balance being ther with ben like properly with ben and out with my girls, felt bad to start with that he didnt know anyone as his friends had left before we met him, but as alcohol flows so does conversation, especially when someone uve only just met eats a cigarette, a lit cigarette. i reckon strange things come with the name Matt dont u think Matty?? :)
more pictures as and when :)
EmLah at 10:49 am
yeahh monologue!!! this is it, the one i have to learn for mels directing piece. all 800 and something words of it. GAY.Mrs Arbuthnot:
I do not know it. I do not feel it, nor will I ever stand before God’s altar and ask God’s blessing on so hideous a mockery as a marriage between me and George Harford. I will not say the words the church bids us to say. I will not say them. I dare not. How could I swear to love the man I loathe, to honour him who wrought you dishonour, to obey him who, in his mastery, made me to sin?
No; marriage is a sacrament for those who love each other. It is not for such as him, or such as me. Gerald, to save you from the world’s sneers and taunts I have lied to the world. For twenty years I have lied to the world. I could not tell the world the truth. Who can, ever? But not for my own sake will I lie to God, and in God’s presence. No, Gerald, no ceremony, church-hallowed or state-made, shall ever bind me to George Harford. It may be that I am bound to him already, who, robbing me, yet left me richer, so that in the mire of my life I found the pearl or price, or what I thought would be so.
Men don’t understand what mothers are. I am no different from any other woman except in the wrong done me and the wrong I did, and my very heavy punishments and great disgrace. And yet, to bear you I had to look on death. To nurture you I had to wrestle with it. Death fought with me for you. All women have to fight with death to keep their children. Death, being childless, wants our children from us. Gerald, when you were naked I clothed you, when you were hungry I gave you food. Night and day all that long winter I tended you. No office is too mean, no care too lowly for the thing we women love – and oh! How I loved you. Not Hannah, Samuel more. And you needed love, for you were weakly, and only love could have kept you alive. Only love can keep anyone alive. And boys are careless often, and without thinking give pain, and we always fancy that when they come to a man’s estate and know us better they will repay us. But it is not so. The world draws them from our side, and they make friends with whom they are happier with than with us, and have amusments from which we are barred, and interests that are not ours; and they are unjust to us often, for when they find life is bitter they blame us for it, and when they find it sweet we do not taste its sweetness with them… you made many friends and went into their houses and were glad with them, and I, knowing my secret, did not dare to follow but stayed at home and closed the door, shut out the sun and sat in darkness. What should I have done in honest households? My past was ever with me… and you thought I didn’t care for the pleasant things in life. I tell you I longed for them, but did not dare to touch them, feeling I had no right. You thought I was happier working amongst the poor. That was my mission, you imagined. It was not, but where else was I to go? The sick do not ask if the hand that smooths their pillow is pure, nor the dying care if the lips that touch their brow have known the kiss of sin. It was you I thought of all the time; I gave to them the love you did not need; lavished on them a love that was not theirs… and you thought I spent too much time in going to church, and church duties. But where else could I turn? God’s house is the only house where sinners are made welcome, and you were always in my heart, Gerald, too much in my heart. For, thought day after day, at morn or evensong, I have knelt in God’s house, I have never repented of my sin. How could I repent of my sin when you, my love, were its fruit. Even now that you are bitter to me I cannot repent. I do not. You are more to me than innocence. I would rather be your mother than – oh! Much rather! – than have been always pure… oh, don’t you see? Don’t you understand? It is my dishonour that has made you so dear to me. It is my disgrace that has bound you so closely to me. It is the price I paid for you – the price of soul and body – that makes me love you as I do. Oh don’t ask me to do this horrible thing. Child of my shame, be still the child of my shame!
EmLah at 4:38 pm
I wish I could give you a hug, but I don't want to
get too close! You poor dear, always in the
wrong situations, the wrong place, the wrong
time....
But, at least you are adorable...and you bring a
lot of laughter into the world! You just need
to be able to laugh at yourself as well.
We love you, from a distance!
You are Startled by Dicksee. Do not give me
that look, it is the painting title!
Which Pre~Raphaelite Painting Are You?
brought to you by
EmLah at 4:37 pm
Some Great Answers to That Stupid Question:"Why aren't you married yet?"You haven't asked yet.
I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.
What? And spoil my great sex life?
Because I just love hearing this question.
Just lucky, I guess.
My fiance is awaiting his/her parole.
I'm waiting until I get to be your age.
It didn't seem worth a blood test.
I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.
I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.
They just opened a great singles bar on my block.
What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads?
We really want to, but my lover's spouse just won't go for it.
I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.
Why aren't you thin?
I'm married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.
(For Single Mothers) Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.
EmLah at 8:05 pm
Ive turned into one of those people that doesnt post again.! mind you i have actually been quite busy tryin to get work done. plus mel wants me to do her monologue so i have to learn that. and i have to sort my own out, write more about my script, which somehow my teacher is managin to make me hate!i got very very wasted on halloween, mainly cos i started a bit of an argument between beky n pippa and when they wouldnt talk to eachother i basically decided to just get trashed. i dont remeber anythin after about 11pm me n ben had this huge in depth relationship discussion. but i still dont know if i want that with him or not. plus i then heard rumours via photoandy talkin to beky and sayin hed seen ben with some other bird these last few weeks. so i dunno. i reckon i shall just abstain from man issues.
its hard to think that a year ago i was just startin out in canada, forgeing friendships and startin my job. for fucksake i was seein paul hehe weird. its very sucky that iv only seen rachel CB sinc e weve been back id love to see dave or paul. oh speakin of that i have seen someone else, elise came by on her travels and stayed over last weds was a total blast i cant wait til Aussie land next year. itll only b 3 weeks but itll b bloody good.
\im gonna try n update more. if only to moan about stuff as i shouldnt burden everyone with my problems the whole time :)
EmLah at 9:52 pm
EmLah
