sup the creeeeeeew.
i've just discovered that the pill im on causes depression! wahoooo lol. even tho im actually quite happy just been up to edinburgh to see andy and that was wicked. i always manage to make myself forget how un-romantic he is lol. i think maybe when i have aperiod of time with him longer than 2 days i may have to tell him how annoying it is to feel like i'm the one maintaining our relationship. i know how much he cares but hes just so unused to being in this kind of thing he waits for me to come to him all the time and its just frustrating. i need to know he wants me in mreo than words i know how he feels i can see it but it would be nice if he was to express it! lol. i'm just having a down day so i'm gonna stop myself reading into it as much as possible.
i texted him earlier explaining why i may get jealous, or why i have before. we aren't talking bunny boiler jaelous here just u know, oh hes talking to them and having a good time. hmph i wish i was having that good time with him lol. i explained it as being when i can see he enjoys and aspect about a person or activity that i dont have or dont have an interest in. being me i want to provide all the entertainment he would ever need, but if that was so then we would be exactly the same n that wud hack me off within 2 minutes lol. i'm just too much of a perfectionist when it comes to things i enjoy, like andy or lighting or an idea or thought, i have to go through every angle it can be approached and then decide on which one benefits me or the other person inolved. it would be so much easier if i could see him all the time. but i cant so im gonna grin n bare it and stop gettin pissed off if he doesnt text me first!
this is slipping into the place i was in with scott and i don't want that. argh why r the guys i like so withdrawn romantically? raa raaaa raaaaaaaaa. i refuse to be this person but having only mum n dad to actually see in the evenings is proving to be difficult. and i guess not smoking is a big issue too.
and thats this weeks rant from the pill affected EmLah
peace xx
9:00 im calmer now, and even tho iv heard nothin back from him i know he'll have looked at the text gone "huh? what is she on about?" shaken his headand put his phone away lol. off to work for me. i wonder what philosophical musings i'll have today ?
EmLah at 10:50 pm
i've just discovered that the pill im on causes depression! wahoooo lol. even tho im actually quite happy just been up to edinburgh to see andy and that was wicked. i always manage to make myself forget how un-romantic he is lol. i think maybe when i have aperiod of time with him longer than 2 days i may have to tell him how annoying it is to feel like i'm the one maintaining our relationship. i know how much he cares but hes just so unused to being in this kind of thing he waits for me to come to him all the time and its just frustrating. i need to know he wants me in mreo than words i know how he feels i can see it but it would be nice if he was to express it! lol. i'm just having a down day so i'm gonna stop myself reading into it as much as possible.
i texted him earlier explaining why i may get jealous, or why i have before. we aren't talking bunny boiler jaelous here just u know, oh hes talking to them and having a good time. hmph i wish i was having that good time with him lol. i explained it as being when i can see he enjoys and aspect about a person or activity that i dont have or dont have an interest in. being me i want to provide all the entertainment he would ever need, but if that was so then we would be exactly the same n that wud hack me off within 2 minutes lol. i'm just too much of a perfectionist when it comes to things i enjoy, like andy or lighting or an idea or thought, i have to go through every angle it can be approached and then decide on which one benefits me or the other person inolved. it would be so much easier if i could see him all the time. but i cant so im gonna grin n bare it and stop gettin pissed off if he doesnt text me first!
this is slipping into the place i was in with scott and i don't want that. argh why r the guys i like so withdrawn romantically? raa raaaa raaaaaaaaa. i refuse to be this person but having only mum n dad to actually see in the evenings is proving to be difficult. and i guess not smoking is a big issue too.
and thats this weeks rant from the pill affected EmLah
peace xx
9:00 im calmer now, and even tho iv heard nothin back from him i know he'll have looked at the text gone "huh? what is she on about?" shaken his headand put his phone away lol. off to work for me. i wonder what philosophical musings i'll have today ?
EmLah at 10:50 pm
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EmLah
