Friday, August 05, 2005

i just laughed my arse off cos paul summed me up in one simple sentence with a lot of exclamation marks. "stop being a big gay bear and relax!!!!!!!!!!" as ever the boy comes thro to bring me back down to earth :) now everyone else has been very good but it hasnt stopped me being paranoid. true paul wasnt actually talkin about my unknown disease, but he was talkin about my more than usual paranoia. which i really do need to get a grip on. iv lost sight of my own philosophy tese last few weeks. and that is everything will balance out, it has too and it always will. i can look back over my life and see the corresponding circumstances in good and bad. for a while i thought this was my balance for canada, then i remembered that all the breaks, sprains strains long shifts and failed romances were the balance for canada and made it what it was. my paranoia is a balance for something that has already happened or that will occur in the future. i will focus on this and my goddess and tread the path iv been given. its only freaking me out cos iv never been ill before. although saying that that u'd think having a wonky heart could b classed as ill :)

anyway im off out tonight to dance the night away and who knows maybe ill manage not to smoke :)
EmLah at 6:14 pm

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