hello world.
urgh i swear today is the first time iv actually felt ill since my glands first went up. silly eh? so far today iv watched 5 episodes of scrubs, so its actually been a good day. paul doesnt seem to actually want to talk to me i mean i know we werent as close at the end of the season as we were at the begining but he was still one of my best mates. so far it seems Rachy CB and dave are the only people who will actually talk to me, oh and durham of course. i guess im feeling a bit morbid cos of my mystery disease but i cant help it. iv never been properly ill before and its not an adventure ill enjoy. i just hope these tests actually come back with something on cos i dont reckon i can stand anymore waiting. i want to know whats wrong, if they can fix it and whether or not i should tell my parents what songs i want at my funeral. urgh iv had too much death in my life already, i dont think anyone else i know would be having these thoughts if they were having tests for stuff. i just cant help it iv been expecting bad stuff since i got back from canada. i neeed to make it to uni as then its the start of a new phase like canada was. im just stuck in limbo and wondering if ill make it out the otherside. grr.
EmLah at 1:35 pm
urgh i swear today is the first time iv actually felt ill since my glands first went up. silly eh? so far today iv watched 5 episodes of scrubs, so its actually been a good day. paul doesnt seem to actually want to talk to me i mean i know we werent as close at the end of the season as we were at the begining but he was still one of my best mates. so far it seems Rachy CB and dave are the only people who will actually talk to me, oh and durham of course. i guess im feeling a bit morbid cos of my mystery disease but i cant help it. iv never been properly ill before and its not an adventure ill enjoy. i just hope these tests actually come back with something on cos i dont reckon i can stand anymore waiting. i want to know whats wrong, if they can fix it and whether or not i should tell my parents what songs i want at my funeral. urgh iv had too much death in my life already, i dont think anyone else i know would be having these thoughts if they were having tests for stuff. i just cant help it iv been expecting bad stuff since i got back from canada. i neeed to make it to uni as then its the start of a new phase like canada was. im just stuck in limbo and wondering if ill make it out the otherside. grr.
EmLah at 1:35 pm
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EmLah
